Happy Birthday Jim!!

March 24th, 1978.... a few minutes after Jim was born (yes, that's really him!)

Dear Jim,

I wanted to share a couple things with you today (and the rest of the world :) on your special day.  First of all, I can't believe  your 31!  I still feel like we are 21 and 22 .... like we just got married and are still newlyweds (not only do I feel like we haven't aged, but you still look 22 (notice how he looks exactly the same on our wedding day, 9 years ago as he does today :).... why am I aging and he's not?!! :) )  Anyways, it's hard to believe that we have been married 9 years already this summer.  In a way it seems like we just said "i do" yesterday, but then again I can't imagine life without you.  The memories that we have made both together and as a family are the best of my life.

Our wedding day.  July 1st, 2000

A little walk down memory lane.  I will never forget our first apartment.  It was a tiny, one bedroom apartment and I remember being so content there and honestly thinking that we could live there forever.  It didn't matter that the walls and floors were paper thin and we could hear everything that went on in every apartment around us.  Not to mention it was right across the street from a crazy high school and we experienced some other really weird things happen around us the year we lived there.  We were together and that was all that mattered.  And I still remember how you willingly moved to Ohio so I could be back home.  You would do anything to make me happy.  You still are that same way.  And I have seen  how God has blessed you in many ways because of  your faithfulness to Him.  After applying at several police departments, including Cleveland, God gave you Pepper Pike.  What a blessing that was and is to both you and me.  And not a day goes by that you don't appreciate that job and do your very best at it.  You are a hard worker and you do everything to the best of your ability.  You never complain that you have to get up at 5:30a.m. everyday and you have always supported and loved the fact that I stay home and raise our kids.

And I will never forget the night our first born, Jacob came into this world.  It was magical and as I watched you hold him tight and stare at his little face, I knew you'd be the most amazing father that a child could ask for.  You are.  And then when your first girl was born.  Oh how you wanted to protect her and love her forever.  You do.  And Micah... even though he cried for 3 months straight, you never ceased to amaze me with your patience and gentleness with him. These kids adore you.  Their lives are safe and secure with you and they are each turning into these amazing little people.  It's because they have a father who not only loves them, but who invests in their lives continually and who teaches them what's really important in this life.  One who sacrifices daily and is committed to God, their mommy and them.  

Daddy and Jacob on the day Jacob was born... July 8th, 2003

Daddy & Abbey in the hospital.... a few days after she was diagnosed.

Daddy trying to patiently get Micah to stop crying :)

And as a husband.  You have been so good to me.  Since we were first married, you have been the steady, consistent thing in my life.  Since day 1 you have protected me and taken care of me and our family and I know you will continue to be our rock.  You are even keeled and keep me from going off the deep end at times.  You have always been the person that I can go to when things seem like they are falling apart.  And you've never amazed me more than you have these last six months.  What we are going through is something that most people will never have to endure.  We have had the most stressful of days, scariest of nights and saddest of hours.  We have walked a road that at times seems like the impossible.  Yet you have never once... ever... waivered in your faith or your commitment to continue to lead our family through this.  Over these last six months, we have been through so much.  Yet we have made some of our greatest memories as a family.  We have laughed hard together and cried hard together.  We have grown in many ways, and for that I'm thankful.  I look forward to spending forever with you Jim! 

 Thank you for being the best dad and husband to us!  Happy Birthday!!

I love you!

Shelley 

Abbey Update

First of all, let me say thank you so much for giving your favorite recipes!  I printed them all out and can't wait to start making them!  I will be going grocery shopping within the next couple days (actually Jim will be going.... he's our grocery shopper :) and once we get the stuff, I will get cooking!  Hopefully you all got some new recipes too!  Thanks for participating :)

So things here have been pretty good overall.  We went to the clinic on Thursday and her numbers dropped significantly from the week before.  A week ago Thursday, her ANC was over 5,000 and yesterday it went all the way down to 400.  Since this is the last intense phase, they continue to give her the chemo no matter where her numbers are so even though she is very susceptible to infection right now, she was hit again with some strong medications.  They expect her numbers to fall even more this week from the chemo yesterday.  We are just praying for no fevers or infections and for her ANC to make a comeback soon. 

She also started up on the steroids again today and will be on them for the next seven days.  She handled the first round of steroids like a champ so we are praying that her body does as well this week.  The difference is that her numbers are so much lower this week and I still feel that she has some built up in her body from the first week so we don't really know what to expect.  We are just taking it one day at a time and knowing that once we get past this phase, things will get easier.

Next Thursday we will go back to the clinic, but not for chemo.  They will just check her numbers and see if she needs a blood or platelet transfusion.  It's been a while since her ANC has been so low or since they talked to us about transfusions so it's hard to be back in this boat.  We knew this phase would be tough, and overall she is acting normal and continues to play and be happy, but oh how we just want her body to be strong and healthy again.  She will get there and in the meantime we will continue to trust that God has a perfect plan in this and is carrying her and the rest of us through.

So in a nutshell, we are praising God that she continues to be active and happy.  She isn't complaining about much pain or feeling sick so overall you wouldn't be able to tell that her numbers are low and that she's on so much heavy medications.  We are praying that she has no infections or fevers.  That she handles the steroids as good as the first week.  That this week would go fast and that her bone marrow would recover quickly and her numbers would go up. Please pray that her ANC would be higher this coming Thursday than it was last Thursday.  And most importantly, that every last leukemia cell would be killed and would never come back.  Thanks for checking in.  We will keep you posted as this week goes on as to how she continues to do.

Recipe Exchange

Sorry that "tomorrow" turned into a couple days for our recipe exchange.  We have had beautiful weather here for the last couple days and have been taking advantage of it to the fullest.  This morning in the middle of our homeschooling, a friend of mine called to see if she could pick up Jacob to go with them to the zoo.  At first I said yes, then thought for a minute and said "we'll all go".  It was so last minute, but so much fun!  When I told Abbey we were going she asked "I can go mommy?"  She then hugged me for about 3 minutes.  She was beaming all day as she ran around with her brother and friends as I was too as I watched her.  I will post some pictures tomorrow (or when the weather isn't so nice :) from our day.

So back to recipes...  

(I was recently looking back at old pictures and found this picture of Abbey eating Lemon Chicken.  It was taken last summer, a few months before she was diagnosed.  Isn't she sweet?!  :)

Lemon Chicken

*  4 chicken breasts (The chicken breast that we buy are always so thick and we like our chicken thinner so I always filet it all the way through to make it thinner)

*  1 egg

*  7 tbls. lemon juice 

*  3/4 cup flour

*  1/2 tsp. garlic powder

*  1/2 tsp. paprika

*  1/4 cup butter

*  6 tsp. chic bouillon granules

*  1 1/2 cup boiling water

*  1 box pasta of your choice

Beat egg and 1 tbls. lemon juice in bowl.  On plate, mix flour, garlic powder and paprika.  Dip chicken in egg/lemon mixture then coat in flour mixture.  In large skillet, melt butter and brown coated chicken on both sides (med - med-high heat).  In medium pot, dissolve chic bouillon in boiling water and then add remaining lemon juice (6 tbls.).  Pour liquid in skillet with chicken and simmer, covered for 20 minutes, turning chicken over after 10 minutes.  

Serve over hot pasta.  The juice that you cook the chicken in is delicious so be sure to pour it over the pasta and chicken.  

As a side note... it is a pretty salty dish (that's why Abbey loves this so much when on the steroids) so feel free to adjust the chic granules and lemon to your taste.  I sometimes double the liquid part of the recipe so there is more to pour over the pasta... Abbey and Jacob often ask for just the lemon juice to put over pasta, but it is definitely better when cooked with the chicken so I like to make extra just to have :)  

Now it's your turn....  Add one of your families favorite recipes in the comment section.   Everyone can use more recipes so the more people that participate, the better :)  Looking forward to seeing what  you all like and having some new things to make!!

   

Lemon Chicken

Abbey eating lemon chicken

So I'm sure you're wondering if the lack of posts means Abbey is having a rough time right now, or doing great.  Well.... she's doing amazingly great!!  She made it through her first week of steroids with minimal side effects and she continues to amaze us in how well her body is handling this tough phase.  Her appetite has been up and she is still craving lemon chicken among some other interesting things, but other than the increased appetite, we aren't seeing as many side effects as we anticipated.  She has been off the steroids since yesterday and they seem to already be coming out of her system.  

She kept us laughing last week with the things she was asking for... of course the famous lemon chicken, black olives, carrots dipped in ranch dressing and munster cheese.  Jim made a couple "Giant Eagle" trips to satisfy those cravings... anything to help make this easier for our girl!

Last Thursday we were at the clinic for her two doses of chemo in her port and we have a break until next Thursday.  She will again get the same two doses of chemo and then next Friday she starts the steroids again for a second week.  When she finishes the second week of steroids we will be past the first half of this phase.  We are getting there and have been so happy that it hasn't been too hard yet.  

We spent all morning outside and although cool, definitely nice enough for us to be out.  Abbey is still able to run around and is playing like normal.  We feel that so many prayers have been answered these last couple weeks.  Thanks for checking in and praying.  

Also, there was a comment from Jessica on the last post asking for the lemon chicken recipe :)  That gave me an idea....  on the next post I will put the recipe and then if any of you have easy, good recipes you'd like to share, you can put one in the comment section.  Then we can all get some new recipes :)  Thanks for asking Jessica.... and check back soon (hopefully by tomorrow) for our "recipe exchange". 

Another Day Down!!

Abbey & Jack

Today is over.  Yeah :)!!!  I know it's not a good thing to wish time away, but if I am going to be completely honest, we are wishing this phase to be over.  We are on day 5 and have 34 days left of the intense chemo (but who's counting?!!)

Our day started a little rocky.  I did something pretty stupid, which I learned and will never do again.  It is actually the second time I've done this (I did it right after she was diagnosed) so you'd think I would've learned my lesson the first time, but no, I had to do it once more.  We have been giving Abbey her steroids in a couple bites of ice cream and she has been taking it with no problem.  This morning we were up so early to go the clinic that I couldn't imagine talking her into eating ice cream the second she got out of bed (she always just wants a big cup of warm milk with nesquik first thing in the morning) so I decided to just put the steroids, crushed up in her milk.  Well after a few gulps, she noticed I slipped some medicine in there and refused to drink it.  The problem at this point is how much did she get, if any...

So she got extremely upset and our ride to the clinic was one that I would like to put behind us. Not only did we have the milk fiasco, but also had an itching episode.  Let me explain.  This morning I was told by our doctor to put emla cream (numbing cream) on her thighs to take the edge off the shots.  Well a few minutes into our ride the cream started REALLY bothering her and she was itching her legs and crying like crazy.  After a few minutes of wondering what was worse, the itching or the more intense pain from the needles I decided to take the cream off.  I think I made the right choice because she immediately calmed down.

She actually was quite pleasant today considering our rough start.  Our clinic visit went as good as could be expected.  They last minute wanted to check her numbers so we had to quick put the emla cream on her port and let that soak in for a while before she was accessed.  I was worried that 30 minutes wouldn't be enough to fully numb it, but she didn't even flinch.  Her numbers again looked great (Go Bone Marrow!!) and we sat around and waited (I actually read at least 28 pictures books to her) a while for them to get her shots ready.  

We also had a nice, big, white, furry visitor named Jack come to our room (see picture above). Abbey loves dogs so was super excited to get to pet him and get a picture with him.  He was very gentle and it was a nice distraction as we all knew what was to come.  

Abbey took the shots like a champ.  She never ceases to amaze us and again was as brave as could be.  I think I kissed her for about 10 minutes once they were done and was just so happy they were over.  You can be sure I put a huge X over today now that those are done!  After her shots they watched her for one hour for any type of allergic reactions, but she had none so for that we were very thankful!!  Thanks all you pray-ers out there.  Keep up the great work :)  We now have a two day break and go back Thursday for two more doses of chemo through her port. We are almost done with week one of the steroids (3 more days) and so far she seems to be handling them really well.  She did request my famous lemon chicken today (which was her absolute favorite food while on the steroids the first time) so I have a feeling I will be making that everyday now for a few days.  Anything for our brave little warrior :)  Thanks for checking in and we'll keep you posted on Thursday.

Oh, and the doctor told us not to worry about the missed/smaller dose of steroids this morning.  We got back on track tonight with the ice cream and I learned my lesson once (or twice) and for all.

Signs of Spring

The last two days were beautiful here in Ohio.  We spent much of Friday and Saturday outside and enjoyed every second of it.  Every year, once March hits we start really getting the "spring itch" (probably like everyone who lives in cold, snowy, winter states).  This spring will be extra wonderful for us.  First, Abbey will be in Maintenance by the beginning of May.  Also, most winters we feel cooped up in the house, but this winter we have really been housebound and spending these last two days outside was like a breath of fresh air for us.  The kids ran and played for hours.  It was good for all of us!  

Abbey has been feeling pretty good overall.  Today is day three of the steroids and we are seeing a little of their effects, but not too much at this point.  Her appetite has picked up, which is nice because her appetite has been down lately.  It isn't to the point where she is waking up in the middle of the night screaming "chicken" yet and hopefully it won't get to that during this round of them.  The steroids effected her last time in countless ways, the worst being extreme mood swings with going days without smiling or talking to anyone, laying on the couch from morning until night, not being able to walk, obsessive eating (like nothing you've ever seen from a petite little three year old), restless sleeping, weight gain (she went from 29 to 39 lbs. in a month) and she was so swollen she was unrecognizable.  It took a while for all the things that the steroids did to her to slowly come out of her body.  All of her muscle strength came back and about three days off the steroids she was smiling and happy just like before.  She also is back down to her normal weight so all that swelling went down.  We don't anticipate the effects this time being nearly as bad because she is on them for less amount of time with a week break in between.  She is on them right now for 7 days, then off for 7, then on for 7 more.  Then done!! We anticipate the most side effects showing up toward the end of the second week as they build up in her body.  

Today she is still laughing, running around and acting happy for the most part.  We have a medicine calendar on the refrigerator and each day we get through we cross out with a big X. Tomorrow afternoon we will be half way through this first week of them and oh how we can't wait to be done.  Tomorrow we have to go back to the clinic for her to get two shots of chemo into her legs.  They then will watch her for an hour after that to make sure she has no reaction because some kids have bad reactions to this type of chemo.  She had these same shots the week she was diagnosed and she did fine with them, but the doctor said that doesn't necessarily mean she won't react differently to them this time.   Please pray that she will handle these shots well, that she wouldn't be too traumatized by getting them and that she will have no funny reactions.

See our pictures from our days outside by clicking here.

  

Delayed Intensification Has Begun

Today in a nutshell....  Tiring, but good.  

Here's the long version....When Abbey woke up this morning it seemed as if her cold was almost gone.  Her body amazingly did a 180 while sleeping last night and she woke up feeling much better.  As of last night she was so congested that I thought for sure her treatment would be off for today, but was so pleasantly surprised when I woke her up this morning and could feel and hear breath coming out of her little nose.  

When we got to the clinic she was accessed right away to see which way today was going to go and a thorough exam was done on her.  Dr. Bodas said that if her numbers looked good and her ANC was high enough he felt very comfortable with going ahead with her treatment for today.  Her lungs sounded completely clear and he said her cold seemed very mild.  So, we sat and waited for her numbers to come back.  It usually takes about 10 minutes, but somedays it seems like an hour.  Every time someone comes in our room whether it's a doctor, nurse, family life specialist (the door opens often) we stop what we're doing and hope it's good news.  Today Kathy our nurse brought us the good news.  Her ANC was 2640 (it only needs to be 750 to start) and all her other numbers looked great too. We were cheering for Abbey's bone marrow today! :)  It did a great job in getting those numbers up so she could start this phase strong.  

So off to sedation we went.  I was sure to tell every nurse and doctor that came in our sedation room that she had a cold just so they were aware and could watch her closely during her procedure.  She breezed through it like a champ and woke up happy and wanting to be held.  There is nothing better than seeing her bright eyes open and I always gladly scoop her up and hold her tight.  Every time she has a procedure she gets to pick a prize from some bins on the sedation floor.  She always picks a beenie baby and she has quite a collection these days.  She usually picks one, then changes her mind at least five times before finally settling on the one that she wants to take home. 

The people are so wonderful to us at our hospital and they do anything and everything to help our days there be a little brighter.  Abbey has countless new toys that she gets by being such a trooper.  Our house is being crowded out by stuffed animals, but whatever helps this peanut get through what she's been through is fine with us.  We will be forever thankful for how they have held our hands through this whole thing since day one.  We can honestly say that our doctors and nurses have become our friends and we love them for helping get our Abbey better.

So, back to the clinic we went.  Today, Sherry the art therapist came to our room and set Abbey up with some water paint and a paper.  Abbey and I enjoyed painting and it made time go a little faster.  While painting, she had zofran (anti-nausea med.) and two chemos put through her port.  When we were done with our picture she said she wanted to give it to Kathy, our nurse because "she does a really good job at being a nurse".  She then got her "tubey" out and we were free to go. Overall, things went very well and we are thankful to have been able to start this phase today so we are 1 day closer to being done with it!  Tomorrow morning she starts the steroids and will be on them for 7 days.  I will keep you posted on how she does this week.  Thanks for praying for us today.  I felt so covered in prayer from the second I woke up today and can't believe how "o.k." I felt as I went through this day today.  I have been dreading this day for weeks and was so thankful again for this peace that God continues to give as we continue to move forward.  Maintenance... Here we come!!!

In Christ Alone Our Hope is Found

Tomorrow is supposed to end our break.  We will be heading to the clinic bright and early to check Abbey's blood counts and to see if her body is ready to begin this next phase.  She has a cold as of yesterday so depending on how she is feeling/doing tomorrow will also depend if we will move forward or wait a week.  She has a runny nose, is congested and has a little bit of a cough... ugh!!!  This is probably the worst time she could get a cold, but there is nothing we can do about it and have to just trust that our doctors will make the right decision tomorrow in whether she should start this phase, or wait until her body is better.  The main reason they might wait is because she has to get sedated on day 1 of this phase (tomorrow) for her spinal chemo and they may not sedate her while she's congested.    

This week has been tough.  It has been hard to keep the tears back as we think about what is to come. Tomorrow will be hard either way because in a way we just want to start it so we can get it over with.  She is scheduled to get three doses of chemo tomorrow and also should start the steroids tomorrow night.  We need to continually give her back to God.  Like this whole situation, it is out of our hands and we need to constantly remind ourselves that He is in control and there is no better place to be than being carried by Him. 

Please pray for wisdom for our doctors, that they will make the right choice in what to do considering her cold and pray for us all to have a peace no matter what happens. Pray that her body would handle this phase better than expected and for strength for us.  I feel weak in so many ways right now and just want to fast forward two months so we can get into maintenance. We know we will get there and are we are relying fully on our God to help us stay strong for our baby.  Thank you for your continued support.  We will keep you posted on what happens tomorrow.   

The new song I put on the blog is one of my favorites.  It never fails, every time I hear it I cry.  I love to listen to it around Easter, but wanted to put it on here now as our hope is in Christ alone as we go through this.  He is our strength as we continue forward and oh how glad we are that we know Him!

All Dressed Up - Nowhere to Go

Actually... lots of places we'd like to go, but we can't right now. Abbey put this outfit on yesterday when we got home from the clinic and she looked so cute. I so wanted to take her out and share her cuteness, but know we will be homebound for a while now. Then I thought "all my blogger friends can see her :)" so here she is.... Our brave little warrior, continuing to truck on and beat this disease. We love this girl so much!!

Yesterday we went to the clinic, but not for chemo :). They looked at her blood to see where her numbers were and how she's handling the last treatment in the last phase. Her ANC which is the infection fighting part of her WBC is low. It is at 800, which means she is borderline neutrapenic and pretty succeptible to infection right now. So, we won't be taking her out of the house again until her next treatment day, which is next Thursday. Her other numbers looked really good so we are praying that her ANC is on it's way up and will be way up by next Thursday. The higher it is when she starts the next phase, the better.

She also had her echocardiogram and that went well. She was very patient and laid still while the tech did it. I was super proud of her. We are waiting for the doctor to call us today with the results, but feel confident that her heart is doing good. At this point they weren't expecting to see anything wrong, but just want to check it before starting the next round of chemo.

Jacob and I are both fighting off colds right now, which really stinks since she is borderline neutrapenic. We are washing our hands like crazy and wiping down the house continually. This is the first cold that's been in our house all winter, so we are doing everything we can so Abbey doesn't get it. I am the biggest baby when I have a cold! I always tell Jim that I'd rather break my arm then not be able to breathe out of my nose when I sleep. I know it's a little extreme, but I am miserable with a cold. Some of Abbey's "toughness" needs to rub off on me!

The last thing I want to share is how we have seen God's hand in many little things lately. A few days ago I was feeling down and discouraged as I looked ahead to these next two months, and that same day I got two things in the mail from friends with amazing encouragement and a phone call from another friend. God knew I needed that on that exact day and for that I was thankful. I love to love people by words of encouragement and that is also how I feel loved. Thank you so much friends (you know who you are :) for your words. Not only was I encouraged, but also was reminded of how intimately involved God is in this situation.

I also have been praying for some time now that God would show us how we could use this situation in others lives for His glory. As I washed dishes the other day and sang my heart out to some of my favorite Christian songs, I had this idea that I really felt like is from God. The night Abbey was diagnosed we laid in our room the whole night, just looking at our sweet baby sleep and having so many fears, questions and unknowns. It was a night that everyone of you parents can imagine and it was the hardest night of our lives. I so wished that I could talk to another mom that's been there. Another mom who has been shocked by those same words and who has been on this journey, with a healthy child in the end. Down the road, when this chapter of our lives is over, I'd so love to be that mom that they call when there is a new diagnosis, for that new mom and family, to talk to. I want to be available, no matter what time of day or night it is, to head to Rainbow 2, to hug that mom, pray with her and listen and tell them our story. Our doctors and nurses have been amazing since day one, but there were so many things that we had no idea what to expect and would have loved to talk to a mom whose been down this same road. So, although we still are on this journey and have a ways to go, I was so excited about what the future holds and how God is going to use our situation for years to come. I also was thinking that Abbey will have to be healthy and cancer free for me to be able to do this :) So, I think God was also reassuring me that we will get there!!!

Thank You Maddie

I have to tell you about this sweet girl named Maddie that our family just had the honor of meeting last night.  She is 11 years old, in the 5th grade and she has a heart for children with cancer.  She has grown her hair out three times, so she could donate it to 'locks of love' and after doing that she told her mom that she wanted to do something more.... something bigger for someone battling this disease.  

A little background on how we met Maddie.  My sister, Stacey is a dance teacher at Center Stage Dance Studio and teaches Maddie.  When Maddie heard about Abbey, she started thinking of a way she could help our family.  She rounded up some of her friends and on Valentines Day evening, Maddie and her friends (and her parents) spent the evening at the dance studio and told parents from the studio that they could drop their kids off there for the night to be babysat.  Maddie and her friends spent the night babysitting for free and at the end of the night they asked parents for donations for our family.  

We were so amazed by the generous amount of money that they raised for us and are so thankful that a young girl would have such a generous heart to do this for us.  We are also so thankful that so many people made donations for us.  Maddie and her mom, along with my sister came to our house last night to present us with the gift.  It was so nice to meet her and for the kids to get to spend a little time with her.  The kids colored this picture for her earlier in the day and were excited to give it to her when she got here.  

Over these last 4 1/2 months, we have had several groups of people do fund raisers or donations for us which I want to mention in this post also.  We never got the privledge of meeting many of them, but their generosity also was very appreciated and we are grateful for each person, both kid and adult that has helped us in this way.  From cheerleading squads, to groups in high schools, to police departments, to a hair salon, to people that we don't even know from across the country, we have seen an amazing outpouring of love for us with donations and we are thankful.  

We have had many people ask us about our insurance and what will be coming out of our pocket for Abbey's 2 1/2 year treatments.  We are very grateful that Jim has wonderful insurance through his job and almost everything is covered in full.  We do have to pay a co-pay for medications and getting to and from the hospital, and also if we go through the ER, there's a co-pay, but other than that all the other procedures and treatments are covered.  The money that we have been given has been mostly put aside, but some used so far for co-pays and travel expenses.  We are also looking into the possibility of getting a high tech air/surface purifier for our home.  With the money that one high school group gave us a while back, we got the ducts cleaned in our home. Thank you Maddie for your generosity and everyone else who has blessed us in this way!  We pray that God will bless you all richly as you've blessed us :)  

Interim Maintenance Complete!!!

We are done with Interim Maintenance!!!  Thursday was the last treatment for this phase and it feels incredibly good to be able to check another phase off.  And even better than that, Abbey is feeling great!  She has breezed through this phase and the doctors said they were very happy with the little side effects that she had this phase. They also were pleasantly surprised by how high her numbers were Thursday.  They said that by this point, kids numbers usually bottom out, but her ANC was right around 1900, which is great :)!!  

We have a two week break from chemo (I thought it was 16 days, but it's 14) and then we begin Delayed Intensification.  We have to go back this Thursday to check her numbers and make sure she is handling the chemos from Thursday o.k. and also for an echocardiogram (it's an ultrasound of her heart).  It is standard procedure at this point because one of the chemos that she's on during Delayed Intensification has been known in the past (like 15-20 years ago) when given in high doses to weaken the heart. Our nurse explained that she will be getting a much smaller dose of that then they used to give a long time ago and that it is rare to effect her heart, but they watch it to be on the safe side. 

Our doctor and nurse also sat down with us to go over what to expect for the next phase.   After this break, we have a rough two months ahead.  She will be on steroids for the first week of the phase, then will be off a week and then on one more week.  We have such horrible memories of the last time she was on them so we are nervous for those few weeks.  They build up in her body so by the end of the second week she is on them she will really be feeling the effects of them.  There are also weeks during this phase where she will be getting chemo 4 days in a row.  She will be on oral chemos daily and we will be at the clinic a good amount.  They also told us that hospital admissions are more common in this phase because her numbers will be pretty low due to all the chemo.  If she would get a fever and her neutraphils  are below 750, they would need to admit her.  We have never been admitted back to the hospital since she was diagnosed, but the nurse wanted to prepare us that it isn't uncommon.  The doctor explained to us that this is their last chance before maintenance to hit her bone marrow hard to make sure no leukemia cells are hanging around.

Please hang in there with us these next two months.  We have been so encouraged by many of you who are checking in to see how Abbey is doing and we need you guys right now.  After long exhausting days we always love reading comments and e-mails from you guys and we know we have many of those days ahead.  Please continue to pray for Abbey's full healing and for her body to handle this next phase better than expected.  In about 2 1/2 months, life will start to get back to a little bit of normal for us, but it will get worse before it gets better.  We continue to keep our eyes up and focus on the One who loves Abbey even more than we do.  We have seen His hand in this since day one and know He will continue to carry us to the end.   

Day 41

Sorry for the lack of posts lately...  Abbey has been feeling good since her fever last week.  She bounced back quickly from it.  We even took her out one night to Toys R Us for her to pick out a toy and to a small italian restaurant for dinner.  It was the very first time we've taken her in public (except for the hospital) and it was sooo nice to go out as a family and be "normal" for a night.  Since she was feeling good, and will be starting a tough phase next we thought this was a good time to do something special as a family outside of the house.  There was hardly anyone at Toys R Us so it was a great night to go.  When we got to the restaurant, I pulled out my clorox wipes and wiped down our table and her chair really good before we sat down.  People in the restaurant looked at me funny until Abbey took her hat off, then they understood what I was doing.  I'm sure we will get used to having her out (once she is in maintenance we will be able to be out more with her), but we will have to get used to the second looks.  Of course, people were very kind to us and we know people who are looking are just feeling sad to see a little girl who is sick.  

Tomorrow we are heading back to the clinic for the 41st day of this phase and the last day of interim maintenance.  We are happy to check off another phase, but are getting nervous to get into the next phase.  I know I've mentioned it before, but the next phase is called delayed intensification and it will be a very intense 2 months.  After tomorrow, she will have a 16 day break with no chemo.  Then the two tough months will begin.  After we make it through delayed intensification, we will be in the maintenance phase (yeah!).  We are getting close to the end of these first tough six months.  Please pray for us as we keep on keeping on.  Thanks!!

Abbey Update

Just wanted to do a super quick post to let you know Abbey is feeling much better.  She woke up with no fever and is seeming much more like herself.  She has been pretty active today and although not eating much, she says her stomach isn't bothering her.  We didn't have to take her back to the hospital since she seemed to come out of this on her own and so far nothing has grown in her blood culture.  Thanks for checking in on her :)  Have a great weekend.

ER for fever :(

Last night (or I guess it was considered this morning) at 3 a.m. Abbey woke up with a fever.  We had to take her to the emergency room because anytime her fever is over 100.4, they have to treat it as if it's a bacterial infection in her blood and give her antibiotics through her port as soon as possible.  Since the clinic is only open during regular business hours, anytime there is a problem after hours we go through the ER and the ER doctors stay closely in touch with our oncologist to tell him what her numbers are like and to decide what to do.  

Last night she was seeming "off" to me and laid on the couch much of the night before bedtime.  She was feeling warm, but her temp did not get to 100.4 by the time I put her to bed.  She woke up crying at 3 and she was very warm to the touch and her fever was over 100.4.  I called the doctor immediately and they sent us to the ER.  We were there until 7a.m. where they checked her blood and gave her the antibiotic.  We are home today and watching her closely to see if her fever comes back and how she does with the one dose of antibiotics.  She has no appetite today, but is playing and seeming better than last night.  She is saying that her legs hurt and wouldn't walk this morning, but as the day goes on, she isn't wanting to be held as much.  If her fever comes back, we will be going to the clinic first thing tomorrow morning for a second dose of antibiotics. If she seems to be on the up and up, we won't have to go back tomorrow.  So far her blood culture is not growing anything (good news) and they will continue to watch it for the next few days.  Please pray for her little body to get over whatever is going on and for this not to be a bacterial infection in her blood.  It's so sad when she's feeling sick and is hard to see the effects of the chemo.  We will let you know how she's doing if and when anything changes.  Thank you!

Music

The first song that plays when you open our blog is Abbey's favorite song right now so we thought it was only appropriate to put in on our blog.  Many nights after dinner, we pump music in our kitchen and dance around, sing and play pretend instruments.  Abbey (like her mommy) likes to hear the same few songs over and over and lately she keeps asking for this one :)  Pretty appropriate since we really never want to go back to just o.k.....  We are committed to being passionate followers of our God and our desire is for His love and grace to shine through us every day of our lives, no matter what our circumstances.  Enjoy :)

All Is Well

All is well here in the Colbert home.  Yesterday, Abbey's treatment went as planned.  Her numbers looked great so her body continues to handle the chemos in this phase well.  We had to be at the clinic at 8:30 so it was an early morning for us.  Her sedation time was at 10 so we usually have to get there around an hour and a half before then so there is time to access her and see what her numbers look like (and then walk across the hospital to sedation).  I talked with the sedation doctor about the last time and the hard time she had coming out of it.  This time was much better.  I think they gave her too much medicine last time because this time they didn't have to give her that much and when the procedure was over she came out of it quickly and happy.  I cannot tell you the relief that it is to see her open her eyes and for me to get to hold her after it's over.  Although we've done this more times than I can even remember at this point, it never gets easy and I am always so thankful when it's over.

We then went back to the clinic for her to get her methotrexate and vincristine.  We got the best room in the clinic with a great view so that helped time go fast while we were there.  The Cancer Center is on the 6th floor and our room was right under where the helicopters land so we got to see a helicopter come in.  There is also a lot of construction going on at the hospital so we got to see lots of tractors and workers working.  Probably doesn't sound too exciting, but when were sitting there watching Abbey get her chemo, it's nice to have distractions for all of us so we can think about and talk about other things.  

Abbey has been feeling good since we've been home.  We have been giving her zofran (anti-nausea medicine) every six hours and it seems to be keeping her belly calm.  A dear friend of mine from church came to clean our house today so as I was doing school with the kids, my house was being cleaned.  It was a huge blessing (thank you Tina :)!!  After we were done with our school day, we went outside for a walk.  It was warm (well, not really.....a whopping 50 some degrees :)  and nice to get some fresh air.  Spring cannot come soon enough!  We are very much looking forward to being able to spend time outside.  We don't have to go back to the clinic until next Thursday, then she will get her last treatment of this phase.  We then have a 16 day break before starting Delayed Intensification.  

Our brave little fighter is doing great.  Thanks for praying for her!  We are truly blessed :)   

Update

Just wanted to do a quick (or not so quick... sorry) update on things going on here.  Abbey continues to feel good. She is amazing us as she seems to be breezing through this phase so far.  We have had no issues this past week.  She is eating good, sleeping good, playing a lot and happy.  We go back Monday for the next treatment in this phase. They again will increase her methotrexate so the chance of sores and sickness will again increase.  She will also get vincristine and a dose of chemo in her spine (she will be under sedation for her spinal).  It is always hard to see her go under sedation and have to leave her while they do the procedure so pray that all goes well.  Last time she was put under sedation she had a really hard time coming out of it.  She couldn't open her eyes or even hold up her head for a long time and she was very weak for a while.  That had never happened before, so it was scary to see.  Please pray for her to come out of sedation quickly and feeling good.  We have two more treatments this phase and then will have a couple week break before starting Delayed Intensification.     

We have two weeks of homeschooling under our belts and it is going great.  I am loving it more than I thought I would and it is truly a joy to watch them learn new things each day.  Jacob is reading more and more each day and is soaking so much up.  Abbey is even starting to be able to sound some short words out.  They really are like sponges and absorb so much so quickly.  It has been really neat to watch.  Abbey is keeping up better than I thought she would.  It is a kindergarten curriculum so I thought a lot of it would be too much for her, but she is enjoying it and wanting to do most of it with Jacob and I.  I still am trying to get on a good schedule with our school day, but with time I think that will come.  Everyday has been a little different with what times we do what, but we are getting it all in at some point during our school days.  

Last night Jim, myself and Jacob went to church.  It was wonderful to be back with our church family!  We so love that place and have missed being there more than I even realized.  I had to hold back tears as we sang and as I looked around and saw so many people that mean so much to us.  After church, the three of us went out to dinner.  It is weird to be out and nice at the same time.  I often go over a week without even stepping foot outside (usually only on clinic days) so when I'm constantly home, going places is a little foreign at this point.  It was good though and I enjoyed my time with just Jim and Jacob so much.  

Jacob has grown up so much these last four months.  Last night at dinner, Jim and I looked at each other several times and just smiled at things he was saying and doing.  Every time the waiter would come and ask us a question like "how is everything", "can I get you anything", "do you need a box" Jacob would politely answer along with us.  He sat and talked with us much of the time and just seems so much older to us lately.  We know God is using this situation in his life and love seeing the little man that he is becoming.  He colored his kids menu really carefully and when we got home he was so excited to give it to Abbey.  He is a compassionate little guy and cares about his sister very much.   

Micah is good.  He had an ear infection last week, which came out of no where.  He had no cold or anything else going on, but just had a few really rough nights where he was up a lot and crying.  I finally took him to the doctor after the third rough night and she said he had an ear infection.  He's been on antibiotics for a few days now and is feeling much better.  He's been sleeping better than ever since he's feeling better and has slept 13 hours straight the last two nights.  Can I get a whooo hooo!  It has been wonderful!

We continue to be amazed at the peace that we have as we go through this time.  We have clung to God and each other and still sometimes have to remind ourselves what we are really going through.  I love my family with an unstopping love and am just so thankful for the life that God has given me.  It's not easy to watch my child battle cancer or something I would ever wish upon us, but I am thankful for where I am as a person and where we are as a family.  I feel confident that God is going to heal Abbey and God is forming me into a better wife and mommy in the meantime.  

One more thing... please continue to pray for little Abby Riggs (see button on right).  She is at a very critical time in her treatment and is having a lot of very concerning things going on with her body right now.  Jim and I have been praying for this little one so much lately and our hearts are so heavy right now for her parents.  When we compare our situation to hers, we have said many times that we have had an easy road compared to what they've gone through. Their faith is strong and we have learned many things through them.  Riggs family, we are praying like crazy for you and your sweet Abby.  

I will let you know Monday evening at some point how Abbey's treatment goes.  Please pray for high numbers and for her to handle the three chemos that she's getting well.  We feel covered in prayer and it means so much to us that you continue to walk this road with us.  There is something so comforting to us about seeing how many of you think about us enough to check in everyday and read how we're doing.  Thank you!  

  

 

Western Reserve - Grace Church

*Click on postcard above to enlarge picture and words*

We have talked in the past about how much we love our church and although I know many of you live out of state, we wanted to invite those of you who do live in this area to come check us out.  It is located in Macedonia and there is some super exciting stuff going on there lately.  This Saturday evening we are launching our Saturday 5:30 p.m. service and are also opening a new cafe!  

In the next four weeks, we will be in a series called "She is..." This series is "for women, and the men that pursue them."  That's all of us :)  right?!  Our Pastor, Jason Haymaker will talk on what God thinks about us women. 

Jim and I are so excited about this new day and time because Jim is a Police Officer and works many Sundays.  He works 5 weekends in a row and then has two off.  He loves his job and everyday does exactly what he wanted to do his whole life, but at times the changing shifts and rotating days off can be hard for family life.  It's also hard that for years he has worked many Sunday mornings and can't be at church.  Since Abbey got sick, his police department has been amazing in giving him dayshift for now (usually he would be rotating days and afternoon shift) because day shift is wonderful.  He is home by 3:30 pm which you can't beat, but rarely can go to church. Also, since Abbey has been sick we haven't been going since we can't take her and haven't been ready to leave her yet.

So, all that said, we will be starting to go to church every Saturday night which we are so excited about.  My sister Stacey, along with some others at our church are going to take turns coming over to sit with Abbey on Saturday nights so we can go.  We are praying that by summertime, we will be able to take Abbey with us :)  I can't wait to walk in that building again as a family!  I think it will be so neat for everyone to get to see this little girl that they have been praying so hard for and see how God is changing us all through this process.  Our church family has been amazing to us and I don't think they will ever know how much they have meant to us as we've gone through this difficult time.  

Click Here for the info. about our church.  Times, place, details about this series, etc....  If you don't have a home church, we really encourage you to check us out.  We promise, you will feel welcomed and at home the second you walk in the doors and you will love this place.  We feel blessed to be a part of this amazing group of people and would love for you to join us :)  

If you have any question, please feel free to e-mail us at jsjacolbert@sbcglobal.net  

Hope to see you there :)!

Abbey

I checked out our site meter last night to see about how many people are checking in with us daily and was excited to see that we had over 600 people stop in to check on us and our Abbey just yesterday.  Thank you so much for stopping in.  We feel blessed beyond words to have many people, both close friends and strangers praying for us and our Abbey and following our journey.  I truly feel that God has used our blog for me to get to know many of you and your situations and for your encouragement to keep us going.  Whenever we get a new follower, I always check out your blog and have enjoyed seeing who you are and getting to know some about your families.  We have some amazing people praying for us.  We love you guys!  

I was thinking yesterday how much fun it is to see videos of people because with a picture you can see what a person looks like, but with a video you can see a little of their heart and personality.  I shot these videos of Abbey yesterday and thought they'd be cute to share.  You can get to know our brave little girl and hear her voice and see her smile in these. (remember to pause the blog music before playing) 

I have done this in the past, but since we have many new readers, wanted to do it again.  Tell us who you are.  Let us know how you found us and maybe where you're from and something about you.  God has used many of your stories to encourage our hearts and keep us going.  

Below is a quote that a friend of mine just gave me.  It has been an encouragement to me today and I wanted to share it with you too.  We have seen God's hand since day one in this situation with Abbey and although hard, we know God has a plan and purpose.  We trust Him and will continue to look up as we go on in this journey. Thank you for being a part of it with us.

There is nothing--no circumstance, no trouble, no testing--that can ever touch me until, first of all it has gone past God and past Christ, right through to me. If it has come that far, it has come with a great purpose, which I may not understand at the moment. But as I refuse to become panicky, as I lift up my eyes to him and accept it as coming from the throne of God for some great purpose of blessing to my own heart, no sorrow will ever disturb me, no trial will ever disarm me, no circumstance will cause me to fret--for I shall rest in the Lord of what my joy is --That is the rest of victory. ~~Alan Redpath, quoted by Elizabeth George.